A Letter for my Kindred Spirit:
I love you. And I love you for many reasons, but there are forty reasons why and how I love you divinely, recognize you as me and me as you, a beautiful and painful mirror. So it’s hard to look at you when I see you. I’ve read that that is one of the signs that the person you have encountered is a kindred spirit. An entity housed within a body that you are called to learn from, and ultimately teach, since isn’t that how learning happens? So yes, though I have been scared and hesitant in hearing that call and knowing what to do with it, I accept you wholeheartedly as a kindred a spirit: a divine companion where I can look upon myself, and see all the parts that need to be loved, held, cherished, pleased, and sanctified.
I have learned thus far that I am the yoni to your lingam, and for me that means that it is through my yoni work that I can bring us both to a healing place in our journeying here on Earth. I walk in the spirit of Audre Lorde, ready to do this work, coming to ask you, are you doing yours? Only you can answer that question, only the whispering voice of compassionate honesty can know, only you can devote the time and the space to hear that voice. What I know, is that it is through our work that we can work with and on and through the Universe, and create new life, new understanding, new vision, seeds for the people who are running towards a Promised Land, who needed it yesterday and the day before that.
Over the years that I have known you I have had many, many dreams of you. More dreams than I will probably ever admit to you. There we are doing yoniwork, creating life-energy, holding each other in sweet embrace as we do so. It is pure and simple, it is loving, it is that place higher than platonic, higher than romantic, higher than any orgasm a physical body can produce in an earthly context: the space is a place of pure unity, of wholeness, of divine harmony, peace, perfection, truth. It is the most honest place I have ever been. I’ve reached Nirvana in my dreams, and Nirvana was with you. And it is the kind of companionship that can be found between Rumi and Shams of Tabriz, but we are of a different time and place, different gender and different race, and that last part makes it tricky. And then we each have our histories, our traumas and accomplishments, different comedy and different sorrows. And then the history we have conjured thus far, which has been a rollercoaster and it hasn’t always been fun.
But it will be. I can already see it. If we can achieve what Rumi and Shams did, then the voids on our paths can discovered and be filled; that we can be made content, feel whole in Love, the way that they were so whole in Love. They were magical those two. They made Sufism seductive with their beautiful truth, their yellow alchemy. Hopefully my kindred spirit has read that story. I know there is already a lot on the plate, many earthly demands, many material desires. But there comes a time in your journey where you must work on the spirit, read books for the spirit: build that foundational force that will help you to live more authentically, more deeply, more freely; more compassionately, because to allow love to manifest your spirit, to know how to allow love to manifest in your spirit, allows you to be compassionate to yourself and subsequently compassionate with others. And so it undergirds all the freedom fighting you do, making it not just winning a war for our history books, but healing the spirit of our people in the face of oppression.
Our people needed HEALING WORK. We are dying, and if we are not being killed, if guns and prisons and rape are not killing us, we are killing ourselves. Some of us kill ourselves with worry or food or drugs or meaningless sex, abusive relationships or hypersensitive egos, but in the end, we all perish. Some of us take pills until our livers collapse, or pull triggers until the brain shuts down. How are we fighting this fight and fighting for our people’s spirits by doing the healing work? Yes, there is a time to shout out and at the oppressor, but how are we healing the oppressed as we bear America, as we live in an anti-democratic country that seeks to silence our history, silence our truth and then blame us for our misery.
And while we choose between two battles, we must find balance and learn how to be a quiet warrior in both. Because the most revolutionary thing one can do is find balance by loving ourselves in this present moment, in the place that hangs between those two war zones. It is the place where we actively love ourselves, not passively, not agreeing to someone’s question when we are queried, but actively and persistently looking in our mirrors with love in our eyes, even as we witness tears of pain. Aligning our mind body and spirit: breathing and breathing and breathing and telling ourselves we arepurposeful, and whole, and already enough, and already perfect because our Creator has scripted our flaws for a perfect reason, that all is truly in divine order; that we can we love ourselves in the way that we were suppose to, our own unique harmonic Way. That we were already free, and that the rest of the war that we win and that we are winning is all so that our freedom will be remembered by our children. That we were already at the Promised Land when we found the kind of love where we arrived at ourselves honestly and with courage and with conviction.
So read the The Forty Rules of Love, because it will best define how I am talking about love here, love for ourselves, love for the Creator that created you and l, and love for what that creation is suppose to be. The highest of loves that has been divinely scripted, already written before this time and place. It will be the love that is found when the void is filled, and we can be able to rest in divine contentment in who and where we are, and why we do what we do here, and how we get it done.
Lastly, I want to give thanks to my yoni for bringing me to this place of understanding, it has been through my yoni work that I have been enlightened so: it has been the work I needed to do and that I need to do to attain the spiritual growth I have been called to experience, and the spiritual enlightenment that I was born to obtain. It has been the yoni worship and the yoni dancing, the breathing, the painting, the yellow candles and the yoga poses; the chakra clearing and balancing, the mirror work and the affirmations, the building with sisters and brothers and co-creating life energy, through cooking, or teaching, or laughing. It has been the baths and the quiet alone time, the creation of tears, all the times I rubbed the tears all over my face, because I wanted my skin to capture the strength that filled my tears. It has been the courage to be vulnerable, to be seen and to not be afraid of what others might think. Because others will always think, but I had ownership over my own reality, and my thoughts were the only ones that managed all others, and I am finally trusting in that management because I am finally giving myself to the goodness of the Universe, that my management submits to Love. This allows myself to understand I am a creator, of the reality that I sought and reached for, and the reality that the Universe needed. And that it needed it more than me, that the need was bigger than any of m insecurities because ultimately, it was bigger than me.
It was bigger than you.
And it was so much damn bigger than we.
So I pray you read this letter and find it a letter of revolutionary love, a letter full of the love and fiery truths that I truly believe Mumia Abu Jamal has found during his long captivity in the death camp of America. I believe that you and I can reach that place of freedom, and that we can do it together, because it has already been written. Alas, let us allow it to be so, through your work and through mine.
Your kindred spirit,
P.S. Though it might seem like this letter was for you, it was also for me, to write, and read, and hear, and see as an undeniable truth.
That I was, that we were, worthy of love.